|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Scarecrow Green W. Body ImageSCARECROW
the trees are still green.
ive got a boy in each ear screaming in a strained falsetto, "find god, then fuck, rub war paint over your collar and choke those dreams of adolescent fancy!"
maybe not in that order.
i feel that those might be reasonable demands.
if not, ill stay a virgin forever and stop posting my barely lucid projections on cross walk buttons so the world can join me in confusion.
ive decided to marry myself to this moment, a rubber band ring on my finger and everything.
i cant tell if theyre asking for a fire or a union.
all i can hear is sex and murder, a whisper of masturbation.
the feral cry signifies a busted climax so maybe these boys are in love and the songs merely rut against each other.
its a valid enough theory.
a part of me hopes that they become beautiful monsters when the lights go out.
for them my heart goes.
today ive decided not to believe in love.
its a silly little thing, not suitable for children my age
"just jealous 'cause we're young and in love."
im jotting this down overlooking stairs to the concrete people playing evergreen games until the grass hits and feet sink against the movement.
my fear is the position to topple into bodily harm, she told me because my statements were laced, hardly contrary to the truth. and my knees are buckling, body sways forward and panic spray paints my senses 'til they're all bright yellow. i fall backwards on my ass, knees pressed tight to my chest so i can breathe normal again.
luckily no ones noticed that its happened for the third time tonight.
it might be a bit cliche to proclaim myself toeing the edges of our small existence 63 percent of the time.
eyes closed and learning how to meditate, recite the best poem ever written to the better half of my memory that sits in the dark until special moments when i wish to remember how to make decisions based on my mistakes.
this is different.
im listening to someone else's favorite song, strike to my ski
Sunglassesi look down and my hands are clasped, the light washing over them in broken stretches, intervals like broken clockwork. fingers interlocked atop the plaid fabric draped down and around my hips.
for the past hour or so ive been writing in my head.
about boys and girls.
those who i have, haven't, should've and desperately want to kiss. im 16, so honestly, theres nothing else for me to write about.
i wanted to start this with a sentence in my mental draft that would state, more or less, 'i tell him i love him but im not sure by what definition i hold it, perhaps whichever he feels it to be.'
something like that.
its about a boy who ive kissed despite knowing just how much i should not have. because my decision making skills are just about as flawed as my parents' are.
i guess i wouldve gotten all poetic about it too. about the songs hes sang to me and how hes just a stepping stone that i paused at, knowing it was merely 'til i truly get what i want (sniff, i say, 'what i had'), but no mat
Blackbirdthe sound of breathing over labored guitar chords.
he says 'rooftop', i think E minor, maybe binary code.
its just that simple.
with an arpeggio inhale and the positioning of awkward fingertips.
now hes humming something i cant discern and the song is supposed to be about lonliness, he says, a thin mouth tilted up in the corner.
'lovely melancholy' i say to myself.
but i hear moonlight and silver glinting off earlobes, hollowed in the dark.
dont believe theyre lonely, more but reaching out from the edges.
scribbles in the corner of papers with outstretched arms, to use figurative language.
a tendency to ask what i am writing, always thinking it be about himself (8th grade memories floating like notebook paper, i remember, small smile and bright eyes.)
right now the sound is repetition, shifting soft and to a feeling--green grass like comforters and arena seating.
and i can hear what this is asking for, a mirror imaged and a sideways glance through crowds.
to break his concentration, th
Counter Topi need to make that night seem more poetic when i write it down.
inject some sorry romanticism into those few moments.
felt like i had no face and even with the lilt of eyebrows, creases in the corners of my forced smile, the expression wouldnt have mattered anyway.
they dont explain it to you in those middle school classes.
the overwhelming sense of power found in sometimes hazel eyes, bright in dimly-lit rooms.
yet crippled in knowing how these things tend to mean nothing.
how my knees give out and quiver.
how in the minutes before, my lips mirrored the action, trying not to weep for the need of piteous decisions.
and voices are obsolete.
but breathing means everything.
i might actually call that my own, unless imagination runs wild and my skin goes blank for an open canvas---close your eyes and see anyone else you want to hold.
theres nothing at all beautiful to see when i let myself be picked apart for the sake of wanting someone i cant have, even when hes looping his perfect finge
Criss-Cross Designthe light has then adjusted
some twenty times since
weve been staring
with hair caught behind cold ears
and the irises expanding
for there is no way
to go blind in these rooms
with white-washed vision
blotting out dark figures
as they might rise slowly
in some distance
but you might switch these lines
to different angles
looking out windows
see the dull drone
of brown eyes
against brick walls
im writing your movement
as i stare at this pen
conjuring some demon
kill you dead
with the unrelenting desire
of this swirling madness
out the tip and over the page
so i could draw the distance
of just where you migh
be looking and write
those lines back to my eyes
and my mouth
because they are both open, staring
as you look anywhere but for me
Adenei've got a safety pin fastened through a collar and a name i dont know fit under the swollen rasp of my dry tongue.
the name like peril, little girls in sunday dresses, celestial in the songs they sing.
as if i knew that definition.
maybe stringing descriptions along branches and stuck with metal points, rusting red through the sides.
spelling out letters with stick tips in teh dirt and memorizing lines on her knees, with her hands upon the ground.
with hair threaded through like loops about her fingertips, passed through pink tinged lips and breathin in her air through filters, left there speechless.
reflecting the sun and leaving their sketches on tree trunks.
the countours gold, eyes closed and blind to the moment.
spit at her feet and found mud squished through toes, causing dissension among the ranks.
and she speaks quietly to the pins in her shoulders that whatever youre seeing, its not happening.
i say Adene, you draw a picture and the lines overlap.
running like water.
We Can See Thisive found out that these lives are like movies and the voices set are scripted pieces of beauty.
my gaze, taciturn, green grass in graveyards.
lifting his chin with the tips of my fingers.
as if holding the pose, fighting breath under water.
and walking away, found an exit through hanging branches of willows wilting in the heat of some lost summer.
the glances then fashioned are disguised 'round my fingers in trying to remember why i could not look away as he tread over flowers, skipping over their stories held in the words chipped into cold stone.
unless laying on the park bench and closing my eyes, finding letters encrypted in the stones thrown at my feet.
if set to the chorus of the soundtracks so celluloid, you could find our names up in the lights of grocery store tabloids.
because we are stars.
pretending out way through the moment of fake love, shielding faces from sunlight in late afternoons.
Hair Clip in Those Bedroomsdarling
i can hear the quirk in your voice
so i know its not okay
and im not gonna tell you i approve
but hes gone on an ego trip
and it extends beyond the hours of jet lag
that pulls you into his arms
from whence he might throw you upon the ground
to hear his drunken hero stories
the fatigue breathes alcohol into his thoughts
and theres that girl that we know
the one that i love more than the world
who whispers two names into everyones ear
and plays off the repercussions as her innocence
so lets all nod and call this okay
i remember the summer
when we smiled
as they played out the night in the comfort of bedrooms
it was okay wasnt it
the dialogue of deception
and hes lining your ears with it
its not the soar of piano concertos
and sonnets spoken with the bow of stringed instruments
if he looks you in the eyes with sunflowers in your vision
know to stare away
because is it not preconceived in the hours that he travels back in time
back to you
to whisper that hes not sure of what you ar
Being Humanmy actions are finally lining up with my words
but the line i walk as i take the actions that will define me is very thin
walking along either side of an edge
to balance my life along those very edges can sometimes push me to the brink
but to the brink of what?
is it insanity?is it a full surrender to the process of change?
does it make me less of a man to tell you im afraid?
does it make me more of a man to pound you into dust until you fear me?
the question isint what makes me a man?
because the answer is im a human being,its just that simple
i feel pain,i feel love,i hurt,i feel joy,i feel everything
and that makes me perfectly human,no more or no less of a man
when i was brought into this world i was a baby
we should all consider ourselves children
they are the most human of us all
they love unconditionally,they express themselves without fear of judgement
because nobody has conditioned them to fear being that human
are we brave enough to have the courage of a child?
they will look
Borrowed WordsI have often read the sparking souls of rare, bold men.
They have fed me pointed words
running red with blood
and thunder, staining
everything I've said, everything
I have. Often read the sparking souls of dead old men,
their flaming, spitting thoughts.
When your tightened lungs are stirred
fill your throat with coughing birds,
put your thought into an overwrought mouth as
I have, often. Read the sparking souls of dead old men,
the trolls in their cluttered dens
surrounded by the scrimshaw bones
of ravished brides, of wasted wives.
Soapbox words scrawled across the same bodies
I have often bled the hearkening souls of. Dead old men
have led the red, hungry eyes
of Rottweiler boys
for years as they tramped through
foyers,foam dressing their blackened lips.
We have often fed the snarling souls of dead, cold men,
gone to bed with hot coal men
with lead in their veins.
Their words are a well
the world knows too well.
Too often have I read the sparking souls of red-coal me
The Prince of MarsOn the bare mattress, he trembles;
praying for his white knight to come back.
Devoured by the very thing he consumes,
his disposition now mimics the windows he's painted black.
No sunlight does he ever permit,
for it invokes the mischievous shadows that challenges his fight.
All reflections he forbids,
for fear of the stranger that triggers his fright.
The insatiable hunger makes him devoid of deference,
and he's willing to sell everything he owns.
All this for the few hours of heaven,
that can be bought with precious stones.
Pure and DirtyMet a girl, told me she was pure -
Filled with hate,
for people she called dirty,
stained by past mistakes or joys.
Told her sex makes us
neither good nor bad,
that you should live not
for the misery of others,
but to be happy with yourself.
habituallyand thank goodness we wear paths
to our chosen art forms
while we're still young-
reaching adulthood means
carving ruts for ourselves
under the rickety wagon spokes
and packing them flat,
soiling the soles
of our wonder-washed feet.
Night Sight SeeingYelling through a crowd
that you hate your parents
act like a deterrence
To the people clean
Writing things like me
Am I right in thinking
That this compulsive drinking
Wraps your mind
And straps you tight
To all of this
Is the light still flickering
In your eyes
As you pass out
Preceded by violent blinking?
Yeah I guess you're cool
Rolling around in
what you ate at school
I'm sure you'll feel it
When you check your pocket
And realize your about
£100 down you fool!
Is it money well spent?
I bet the girls think you're
A real gent
But do they care what you're like outside
Or just your generosity
Right here at the event?
They don't even know your name
All too familiar with your game
I've watched a few like you
Believe me, you all end up
Smile like you mean itSmile,
when you're dying inside
to let the world know you can
because frowning makes others feel bad
Its the best mask we've got
Perfection is an Opinion -Just in case I miss you tomorrow
and never get the chance to say goodbye,
I would want you to know
that I've loved you every second, every minute,
every hour of every day,
and if I had the chance to meet you,
and got the chance to speak my mind,
I would tell you that you are perfect
and this is the reason why:
Perfection is based on the perspective of the world,
so let me tell you mine.
You don't have to be the best
and you don't even have to be in the top percent -
You're perfect just the way you are right now.
When you look in the mirror, I don't want you to see
that your hair is a mess or you have crooked teeth,
but that you're wild and free
and have a smile that shows the beauty beneath.
All of you is perfect, the fear and the doubt,
but if you ever doubt yourself
I'll continue to believe
that your future
can be whatever you want it to be,
so continue making the mistakes
that I wish I had made
when I had the chance,
when I was your age,
a lifetime and a half ago.
Melting Into My Sighttoday it rained, hard and cold and making puddles everywhere
the concrete glistened maybe shone with the
wet sparkle of small pools left here
and there-- with ripples sounding
through windows, hiding in the sky
i stood on the cool set of grey
beneath frozen toes in broken shoes
and watched through curtains
of small and shiny bullets
falling from air
my eyes wandered through the scope of staircases
how they differentiate
cracks and bruises of something
supposed to be unbreakable
when i lay underneath and hope
i do not die
before fully realizing the extent
of self-imposed importance through streams of misery
but everything is grey--even
being as it is
and i can hear the sound
of tires arbitrarily sliding
over wet ground
and again i hope i do not die
suspended above them
flying away from scattered phobias
just like wet leaves on the ground
everything reminds me of my mortality
and absent faith
how i dont wish to meet fallibility with unseeing eyes
girls crying, those who think im beautifu
Keep in Touch!